Lockdown Retire-a-Gran

Covid Lockdown was one thing I really battled with, I hated not being ‘allowed’ out! I thought all of that was behind us however today I experienced a different type of ‘Lockdown’. It was the implications of this particular ‘lockdown’ that have caused me great consternation… and some amusement.

Imagine it, coming downstairs to answer the door to the local delivery-man to find the front door will not open! Here I am, dressed in night-attire doing battle with a recalcitrant front door. I cannot budge the lock, it will not turn. Meanwhile, the delivery man tries the doorbell again. ‘Oh, hi’ I call. ‘It’s a bit embarrassing, but … I can’t open the door!’

‘Try turning the handle ‘love’!’ is the response.

Really? Well I hadn’t thought of that had I?

‘It won’t budge, sorry!’ my response. ‘Can’t you leave it on the doorstep?’

‘Well.. alright.’ I hear a distinct ‘humph’ as he deposits the parcel.

Now what do I do? My long-suffering husband came to the rescue and removed the whole lock and said he’d take it to be repaired. What a super-hubby!

Off he goes and I close the door behind him and lock it using the ‘dead-bolts’. As I retreat I realise there’s a wonderful chest-level peep-hole letting in plenty of fresh air. It might prove useful to check on visitors I suppose.

Later, hubby returns to say that the new lock will not be ready until Friday! 2 days with the draughty peep-hole and enforced imprisonment. My mind wonders as to how my son will get in later, and how he would react to realising his key was not going to open the door. Then the full implication of this predicament sunk in; I realised I could be confined to the house for two whole days. Suddenly I thought, what about the garage appointment tomorrow? That could be interesting! I can imagine the phone call: ‘Sorry, can I rearrange my appointment – I can’t leave my house… why? Oh, the front door has no lock on it and it can’t be repaired ‘til Friday.’ I can hear the mechanic’s brain working over-time ‘batty old woman!’

Right, what am I going to do today that does not involve leaving the house? Back to the baking, reading and TV I suppose. Lock-down repeated.